US AND THEM

US AND THEM

Do you feel it...?

There’s a sense in the air of “Us & Them” and I can’t quite figure out why. Let’s discover some answers together in a positive, forward thinking fashion. Although the contents of this article might on the surface seem morbid, I’d implore you to interpret them with an open mind & an honest heart.

Let’s get stuck in.

Division is a funny thing – it takes the very essence of ignorance to take lightly and the mind of a psychopath to manipulate. For you & I to say we are exactly the same, exactly the same, is preposterous; of course we have differences – Many in fact. We have genetic differences which lead to biological & psychological differences, we have cultural differences which lead to a different perspective & approach to the world, we have educational differences which means that what we fundamentally know is different and we have differences in belief, to mean that what we think is at the root of everything will be in some way different. As far as what sets us apart goes, that’s just the tip of the iceberg, so let’s look at what binds us together.

We’re all on this ship & its sinking.

Woah! Did you feel that? There was some real honesty in that statement & it’s a scary truth to get your head around; we’re doomed!

Luckily for all of us, that’s not our only similarity. We’re much better off than that.

What we truly share at the heart of everything is that we know fuck all. Sure, there are some that would stand up and say “I’m absolutely certain of everything I say & everything I’ve been told” but they can’t be. The problem we face is that we are living in an age of kids playing “adult”. The majority of people are barely given a chance to socially mature before being tossed through education & work, marriage & reproduction, mortgage & pension. Above all else there is a high level of bullshit, misinformation, propaganda & hearsay; creating a confusing undercurrent of lies & deceit, often put to use by the aforementioned psychopaths. More & more people are “opting out”. There is also a somewhat sensible sounding thread of truth out there if you can follow it. Unfortunately, you only have to study something wild like the “holographic universe” theory or even some basic neurological perception studies to put the whole thing in doubt again. When we measure up what we can truly prove or know against what we don’t, we come off looking like a bunch of clever con-artists. That’s not to say we are at all unintelligent or benign – we have clearly shown some progress over the space of our existence. If indeed that existence can be proven.

Let’s get back to the point.

Aside from the fact that we don’t know whether we exist or not, there appears to be the ability to think & collaborate between us. We share the ability to take care & consider things, as well as having hindsight. We share a history. Not necessarily a pleasant one in all cases but that history is shared nonetheless; good and bad. Most of all we share the ability to affect the lives of everyone else around us. We’re pretty great, right? Go us!

So, if that’s “Us”, who is “Them”?

Let’s go back to talking about division for a moment.

As far as I can tell, no bad can come from diversity alone. If anything, throughout my life I have witnessed a healthy merging of cultures here in the UK, mostly involving food & dancing. What I do see is that some fundamental factors of those cultures are prone to clashing – usually due to fear-mongering media & politics, or simple close-mindedness. It appears as if it’s not the differences themselves that cause a social divide, it’s the attitude of the individual(s) presenting those differences as a problem.     

So who do I think “Them” are?

If we are to follow the trend of mainstream conspiracy, we are to believe that “They”, “Them” or “Those Cunts” are a select bunch of reasonably wealthy business owners, politicians, celebrities, religious leaders & cultists. A point that was made to me recently, probably by me, was that you wouldn’t necessarily have to have the most money in the world to control it – only enough. Say, for instance, if this theory were true, Trump would be high on the list of psychopathic geopolitical puppeteers. I don’t however believe in this concept which I’ll explain in a moment. The Yang to “Us” is whatever “Them” decide. “They” can infiltrate us, sum up our differences & “Those Cunts” will tear us apart; all the while reaping the benefits. I genuinely believe we have a whale of a time doing this for ourselves – quietly contemplating our levels of contempt for each other, based on nothing but meaningless divisive bullshit.

Let me try to sum up in some way, however premature that seems.

I’ve come to realise in my travels, in my work & in my encounters with people that there is no “Them”. From my point of view we all seem to be in the same shitty situations, with the same neuroses and with the same childlike attitude to the world. There are those of us who seem so sure & so tuned into it all that we follow them blindly into the dark, only to find out they’re as lost as we all are. Even if the conspiracy theory stands; what’s to say that they are separate from us? Who is to say that they are any better or worse off than us? We’re all here & for the sake of sanity we need to begin living together in some shred of harmony.

First of all, the quashing of open conversation has to stop. The immediate call to arms needs to stop. The close-minded, divisive & pointless bullshit has to stop. I don’t believe this lightly, I find these things to be a daily embuggerance. If we want to put to rest the idea of “US AND THEM” we need to start the conversation.

“What’s wrong with us?”

“What’s right with us?”

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part 5ive of THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPELL FIVE!!!

Cast your minds back.

A couple of weeks ago at most, I published an article stating that people are idiots. I then went on to explain that through lack of general, spiritual & political education, we're all just a bunch of morons firing off doctrine on command. Surely, for those of you who read the article, you're thinking "why are you telling me this? I was there man...". Fair play. The point of me explaining that part again, if you'd just let me speak for one damn minute, was that this article ties in quite nicely with that. So, if you haven't read it, maybe you'd like to before I carry on...

Don't worry, I'll wait...

All done!? Okay, on with it.

I guess like a few people, my friend Danny Quin over at Bar Bar Black Sheep for one, me for two, genuinely consider the term "Netflix & chill" as an invitation to stick the kettle on & slip into PJ's. Casual sex aside, they've got some fairly decent stuff on there. Just this afternoon, I slipped into said lounge wear & stuck on a documentary, aptly named "(DIS)HONESTY, The Truth About Lies"; a subject which interests me greatly. Dan Ariely studies behavioural economics & throughout the film breaks down the individual factors of what drives someone to lie. As it turns out, with great relief, everyone does it! Coincidentally, everyone doing it is precisely one of these, what Dan calls, "Fudge Factors".

Now, think back over your life, over all your experiences & think... "have I ever told a lie?". Of course you have & if your answer was "no", you're probably lying. Sorry!

When I was younger, not much younger than today, i used to bullshit a lot. Now, bullshitting is that special kind of lying that's full of fluffy stuffing & complicated seams, an enigma at first but very easily rationalised to nothing. For instance, I would tell people that my Dad was working away from home or that I'd seen a man get shot, amongst all manner of irrelevant, made-up anecdotes in order to make myself feel like people could find me interesting. The problem being here, my friends spotting me in town with my Dad, two hours after I'd declared he was in Australia, or again, my friends working out that I'd never been to gangland Columbia. When we're young at mind we tend to be drawn by fantasy & fiction, making us feel less interesting or important than the fictional characters portrayed therein; making us feel as if our lives are somehow dull in comparison. Being a compulsive liar & being around quite a few others at school, I've become covertly skilled in spotting irrelevant bullshit; like, calling out your friend who has done everything you've done but bigger & better. There's a tone that's acquired when a person improvises a life event spontaneously, a look in the eye & a failure to stop while they're ahead. I'm often shocked out how many people in their adult lives still manage to follow through with this fantastical act of dishonesty, despite being guilty of it myself at times. I believe the only thing that's reduced my level of bullshit is the amount of genuine experiences I've had over the past few years. Since growing up & getting out into the world, I no longer feel dis-interesting or dull, I revel in retelling my life to anyone that will listen, purely for the looks on their faces when I assure them "Yes, that really happened!". Surprisingly, or rather not so, I'm more than likely to relapse around people I don't know or have very little in common with. I tend to bridge that gap with fluff galore.

I digress...

The documentary follows a series of interviews & experiments in order to illustrate the major factors of behavioural economics, right down to the nitty gritty. Without giving too much away, the film wraps up with the evidence that no one lies unless they feel like they, or someone they care about, have something to gain from it; seems pretty obvious, right? Despite it's apparent obviousness, I admire the revelation. If a person is correctly informed of what they stand to lose by lying, they just don't. The whole point of the film, as I see it, is that people lie to gain but won't if they stand to lose or effect others negatively. Equally, if a person is caught lying in a big way & falls foul of the consequences, it makes them more honest in the future. On top of all that, Dan Ariely expertly makes the case that a million small lies have more negative effect on society than one big juicy lie. I won't explain exactly how but watch the film to find out, I highly recommend it.

Now, I'm not sure about you but I find dishonesty to be a huge proportion of what's wrong with society. We have the media spinning webs, politicians providing misinformation & conspiracists by the truck load. I honestly don't know who or what to believe outside of my own small (but growing) network of friends & colleagues. It all seems like deception in one way or another, whether to meet an agenda or distract us from one. Yet, whatever the reasons, the effect is the same; this.

If we're lucky, those of us who don't follow one of the few mainstream religions have our own breed of moral compass, drilled into us by parents, teachers, employers & the like. We don't have the commandments to guide us in absolute certainty toward our spiritual essence. Instead, we are told "This is right, that is wrong" without a quantified explanation of the circumstances. To devout Christians, straying from God's message leads to eternal damnation & suffering. Simple, no one wants that. Unfortunately, I believe that the atomic & subatomic particles I'm made up of will be recycled when I'm gone, not sent downstairs to be prodded with a flamey stick. My consciousness (if that's what this experience is) will be recycled into free electromagnetic energy, ready for the next batch of bodies to make use of. So, for me, what is hell? It purely doesn't exist. So then, what of the consequences in my negative actions? Frankly, I don't know. Sure, I can surmise that punching someone in the face will result in their pain & likeliness to retaliate by punching me in the face. Any half-trained idiot can work that out. But what of the bigger picture? What of the butterfly effect in the actions I partake? What of the hell I leave behind for others?

As far as I can tell from my dilapidated ivory tower, a successful life follows thusly; Survive the first five years, Go to school & discover a passion, undertake further education & qualify in said passion, get on the career ladder, play the game of life (wife, kids & a family car) & then retire quietly for a few years before the inevitable happens. Trust me, I don't believe for one second that my choice of lifestyle benefits anyone in any great sense; I'm forever in poverty & an imposition to the vast majority of people I come into contact with. To tell the absolute truth, despite me being happy in following my "dream", I'm all too aware of the implications suffered by others for my benefit. This sours the milk, just a tad. Not to say it's all bad; I have found a lot of success in making people happy & enjoying my music with them. That fact will forever make it worth the worry. The thing is, despite sharing my negative experiences of this lifestyle, people are still prone to envy, much in the same way that I envy their stable, contented lives of work & family, with a moderately sustainable income to boot. The trouble being here that I have tried to live in that way many times & each time I'm overwhelmed by the blatant negativity of corporate control. I can see the lives that are affected by capitalism & consumerism, others can't. I believe that it's this lack of quantifiable guidance that has left us corrupted, liars & pretenders all. We honestly don't know any better.

If we were to try to figure out exactly what is wrong with this reality, I believe the place to start is finding out what's right. Much like Dan Ariely attempting to discover what makes liars tell the truth, I'm interested in finding out what makes people lead an honest life in every respect. Dan found that if he took away the gain in lying, or indeed by displaying the wrong in it, he could essentially revert people back to their honest, humble selves. I believe that if we were to make more of an effort to inform each other of the gains & losses served by leading any and all lifestyles, we would all be much happier & a lot less prone to feeling shit about ourselves. Then again, I could be wrong...

In conclusion, I believe we're all a little bit lost in this big wide world of ours & it starts with us to find a happy home. We don't need to be so at odds with life, the universe & everything. We should be enjoying it! Take some time to think about how your lifestyle affects the lives of everyone around you, present & future. Let me know what conclusions you come up with & I may well follow up in a future blog...

Nah, I'm lying!

The Ramblings of A Mad Man - Part Four of Something Something...

Far be it from me to be political (never!), I've been prodded & jibed by the online population far too much this week not to complain a little.

PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS!

Oh, you want more than that...? Fine!

I'm not a bold intellectual, a scholastic man. Not in the slightest. You may well find me pawing through some rather interesting videos on YouTube or scrolling my way into despair at some spectacular "scientific" articles. The problem there being you can rely on truth & proof as much as you can by delving into the Bible or any of the other Abrahamic "How To" guides. It's great for interpreting whatever the hell you want but standing up for anything you might believe, in most cases, tends to lead to embarrassment or offence. Finding the real gritty truth these days reminds me of a shit episode of the X-Files.

That wouldn't be such a problem if the obvious lies & conspiracy stood out to everyone as much as it does for me. We'd all giggle & move on with our lives, I'm sure of it. The thing is, we're not talking about flat Earth theories or hollow moons; I'm talking about the simple fact that our global society is in the toilet & everybody is pointing fingers, passing the blame to whatever fits their agenda. I am crazy so don't take it from me. In fact, if you're still reading this you might be crazy too; still don't take my word for it. Go outside & look around. Walk around your local shopping centres, parks, alleyways; think about what you see. Think back on your life & everything you've learned & assess the question, "is this it...?"

You may have assumed from my previous comments that I'm not a religious man & by many interpretations you may be correct. I see any & all strictly held beliefs as religions unto themselves, personal, spiritual, communal & political. By that understanding, someone who is devoutly healthy in their diet would be considered personally religious & may well have joined a gym with others who are communally religious in the same way. If that person enjoyed being an environmentalist who petitions for animal rights, they too could then be considered politically religious. I do hope I'm making sense. With all I've said in mind & nary more than doctrine to argue against me, religion & belief go hand in hand, whether you attend a church or not. Unlike many others, I would not consider myself religiously "tied-down" in any respect. I try to be open-minded to other peoples assessments & greatly enjoy the religions of Physics, Biology & Mathematics. Don't let that fool you; I also revel in reading anything that holds a message & serves a purpose, regardless of whether I believe or agree with it. I have been known to practise meditation & have great respect for the spiritual aspects of Hinduism & Buddhism.

There comes a point in everyone's lives, if the conditions are correct, that they will have to ask themselves; "What do I believe?". The question might not follow those exact words & indeed might barely be asked before action is required. In these moments it's up to us to act on our basic instincts & educations. Do we have that...?

Our priorities as a species are entirely misplaced if the current visual evidence is anything to go by. I see more homeless people on the streets now than ever before, families falling apart & children being abused, starved, misled & corrupted. News flash, that's only in this country. Friends of mine who have travelled to visit the most tragically affected among us tell of poverty & manipulation from the western world. At first I was asking myself; "Where are my taxes being spent?". Sure, the street lights are on & "I Love Bletchley Day" happens bang on time every year but what the fuck happened to the welfare state? In this day & age there should not be this blatant lack of mass education & harmony. People should know by now that we're all on the same bloody ship, heading for the same unknown destination. All the rest is rather clever but it's actually doing us some damage now. Could we slow down a bit & let the stragglers catch their breath? Equally, could you kindly ask that small group in the middle to stop whispering about killing us all? All too much has become important out of context. The optimist inside me cries out for a modern version of the 10 Commandments by means of a universal understanding. No? Would you rather keep on blowing up children in the Middle East while we figure out what's going on...? Why is it so hard to believe that we could all get our heads around a few simple rules like "Never kill a person without the consent of the person you are killing" or quite simply "Try not to be a cunt".

You're still wondering why people are idiots, right...? I'll get to the point.

More so these days, similarly to the homeless crisis, I see arguments on social media, news articles & YouTube videos galore. You're thinking; "Yeah but they're all the idiots in the world, arguing the toss because they're bored!" and you're right. I am literally shocked every time I see a well constructed sentence or God forbid a question. Instead what I see is people sticking up for things they haven't researched in the slightest or only believe in because they're gullible. Where does that get them? Nowhere.

My ultimate question is; When did it stop being our responsibility to learn first & educate later? We base our systems on outdated modes & curriculum that seem to be less relevant than what the child could be learning at home or from experiencing the world for real. We have bred a generation of careless & uneducated parents who are now passing the torch to a brood of smart phone consumerists who barely know what happens outside their own doors. We need to learn how to compensate & fast, otherwise the work of many thousands before us could be undone in a matter of decades. We need to care more about ourselves & others, always looking for the greater truth in everything.

I want to be able to come back here in 20 years & not feel the need to bitch like a stressy victim. Alright...?

Cheers!
   

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part Three of 3.33333333(recurring)

To tell you the honest truth; I haven't got the guts to Google "What happened between series two & three of Red Dwarf?". Why did Kryten reappear so casually, why was Holly replaced by Hilly & where did those Starbug things come from? That's not to mention the vast interior decoration job that took place between the two episodes.

As an adult, having grown up alongside the commercial internet, I'm finding it to be making me more dubious by the day. Do you remember a time when comment sections & forums weren't full of nit pickers & trolls? No, me either... I used to enjoy it to be fair. As an adult I crave for real grit, content, information, maybe even something interesting to tell the kids one day. Instead, most of the "fun" places online are crammed full of crap, crud & quite frankly bullshit. From the simple "10 eggs with funny faces" to "Paul McCartney died in the 60's", it's stopped being funny now. Too many people have caught me being gullible...

As a busker who became a songwriter who became an entertainer, I cringe at the notion that a good proportion of my career is net-bound. I'd prefer to have the phone ringing off the wall, be in the presence of people, play where the party's at. Call me a cynic but any time spent on a device during that experience is a ball ache. Then again, here I am on a big one instead of out there making friends...

Do you ever feel like there's a force in your life that's entirely diverting away from what you want to do with yourself? Do you ever feel like what you think you want to do isn't actually what you want to do? Do you worry that you might miss out either way? 

Google it.

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part Two of One

I'm sat here, halfway through two chocolate crepes. It's Friday night & even the taxi driver pointed out that I'm doing it wrong. I suppose at this rate it'll be etched on my gravestone; "Never stayed out late on Fridays". I know plenty of folk who wouldn't dream of departing their couches & futons for even a sniff of a party, let alone a full shebang! Here I am, being judged by the world for having a quiet night; cup of tea & mental breakdown in hand.

Do you ever feel like you've met your soul-mate, but fortunately your soul-mate is a twenty-four inch Korean TV with a built-in DVD player? Never mind all that chemical compatibility nonsense... I just want to know there's less wires getting in the way. Have you ever fallen in love with pyjamas? It's surprising how captivating cloth can be... especially when it's not questioning your long-term intentions or leaving sopping wet towels on your side of the bed.

YouTube is regularly feeding me conspiracy theories on the basis of a few careless forays into pseudo-science. Turns out the north pole of the planet Saturn is the devil, through which extra-dimensional beings are ejaculated & subjected to being shot down by US space nukes. US space nukes, you'll know, are those special kind of space nukes that are specially intended for blowing the bajeezus out of any unsuspecting earth-bound extra-dimensional devil spawn. If you didn't, now you do... I often worry about how many people buy into these ideas. I worry more for the unsuspecting earth-bound extra-dimensional devil spawn.

I'm eyeing up the second crepe now & only the fact that I'm smoking is getting in my way. Dilemma central... Drug addiction is an interesting complex to explore. John Lennon said something along the lines of; "We should stop mistreating the people who are addicted to drugs & try to figure out why they're addicted in the first place." As I write, there's a hint of doubt that I may have already written this paragraph before. Regardless, I like John & I think he has a point. Ultimately, we already know the answer. Where there's money to be exploited, exploitation be done. I smoke because I like it... It's a handy crux to fill an unidentified void & it's available. On the other hand, I really like these crepes...

Food for thought... You're a traveller on a journey of exploration. There's no aim to the journey, other than to see & experience everything you come into contact with. Many many years have passed & you have discovered many things, of the world & yourself. You've built roads & bridges, made friends & new family, seen good times & worse... You are ridden with the scars of your adventures, inside & out. Your life has become a novel worthy of the finest libraries. As your journey comes to a close, a man you recognise appears before you. He says; "I have heard your stories & know of your adventure. Why don't you go out and do it again?". Then he takes a million pound out of his pocket and sticks it on your filthy lap.

I'm Billy Nomad & welcome to my br(h)ead...

BYE

DISCLAIMER: I am as mad as I appear to be in writing, I've simply chosen a style of writing that accentuates that madness to provide entertainment for my fellows. I am not in any way dangerous but at no point should you attempt to feed me, stroke me or send me to "live on a farm". I will not have it.
   

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part One of Four Million, Six Hundred Thousand & Twenty Nine

Most recently (recently, meaning within the last six months), my friend Lauren - an avid writer herself - urged me to write a blog in autonomous fashion (writing without thinking too much, y'know?). Well Lauren, get your filthy claws out of my best friend you petulant wench!! Oh, & I wrote you a blog...

I sit here amongst a third of a lifespan's junk & sentiment, imagining how it got so messy. Here I was minding my own business, only to find some amorphous figure known as "25 years", drinking my tea & commenting on my dress-sense. Me, me, me... I think the problem lies somewhere there, doesn't it? It's become apparent to ME that the old ways of compassion, cooperation & empathy have adapted as much as I have; much in the same respect. Narcissism reigns supreme over a generation plagued by technology. In yesteryear, if something had spread as quickly as the internet, people would have burnt it & buried it... preferably side by side to create countryside boobies. The trick seems to be; only empty the ashtrays if it comes to it & only tidy up if injury occurs. I'd like to say "I used to be so clean & tidy, I've fallen so far from grace. Woe is me!". Unfortunately, maintenance has never been my strong suit. Neither has grace.

My Dad says to me; "Your problem is, you've figured it out. You know every inch of every step you have to take & yet you always try to find a way around." Damn right Dad, my legs hurt from lack of exercise! Seriously though, I'm my own worst enemy... Someone else recently proposed "You're self-absorbed & full of shit". They weren't wrong & indeed I've noticed it in myself. Similar statements have reared their heads more so these last few years. For a while there I assumed I was a good person with only the best as heart, making an ass of you AND me. Turns out narcissism is contagious & good will is relative.

Don't you hate it when you're starting a new job, or school or making your way through the pearly gates & someone gives you THAT look!? You know the look... To you it's; "YOU'RE A MUG & I'LL TURN THE WHOLE WORLD AGAINST YOU!!". To them it's probably something more like; "Who is this guy? Is he going to disgrace me!? I'll tell my mum...". Something like that anyway. The point is, without an inherent sense of empathy & understanding, we're all a bit screwed.

Positivity is one of the most important things for us to attempt, even if we're not wired for it. True say, yeah; We're all organic manifestations or energy, cascading in universal power. You dig? What I'm trying to say is; when it boils down to it, you're not working in admin & doing the washing up. You're expressing the unending flow of the universe. Even if that sounds nuts, it might do you to know that particle physicists would agree. There's a huge gap in understanding that tells us science & spiritualism (or Church & Skate for any noFX fans out there) are completely different things. Even in my addled state I can see two professions following a different methodology. Then again, if we can't get Christians & Muslims to quietly eat dinner together & biologists from throwing wine in everyone's faces (trying to get a reaction), how are we supposed to unite mankind? Plus, Einstein & Buddha have both sprung this mortal coil - meaning any ideas of an amicable tea party are long gone.

In my madness I started following a webinar (seminar for agoraphobics) on "How to be Successful in the New Music Industry!!1!". Never the sceptic, I throw myself straight in for an hour & fourty-five minutes of lecturing & note-taking. Bear in mind that through my studies elsewhere, I've grown to know just about everything there is to know about what these people were calling "the OLD music industry". Fifty minutes in I'm nodding my head like an idiot - lapping it up like the soppy flannel I am. In any case, she finally gets to the point... "My secret ingredient to my special sauce is.... *drum roll*... FACEBOOK ADS!!!!!". I sigh & get ready to give up on the whole thing, thinking "No shit Sherlock - what's your actual point!?" See, for anyone in the know, it's no secret that if you have a basic understanding of who you're selling to & enough of a budget to throw at your Facebook page, you will start to see a return. It works, yay skippy... can I have a budget now please? Long story long; she was selling courses on how to improve your Facebook ads. What's the point you say? There was none... Maybe that I'm gullible & have too much time on my hands?

In conclusion - between you, me & the gatepost - I'm a little bit worried about the EU thing. I don't understand a lot about it other than the universe must be bored shitless to come up with all that hassle. Tomorrow at work, or school or hanging ten in Shangri La - turn to the person next to you & tell them they're just a figment of something special. I'm not sure what will happen but that's the beauty of life. Turns out there is a literal calculation for human action & reaction within the known universe (abiding by common science). Who knew that all them lab coats could figure out such a thing as fate, or dare I say it, destiny! Which, by the way, was an awful example of a well-coded MMORPG. Nuff said.

I'm Billy Nomad & welcome to my head...

Goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: I am as mad as I appear to be in writing, I've simply chosen a style of writing that accentuates that madness to provide entertainment for my fellows. I am not in any way dangerous but at no point should you attempt to feed me, stroke me or send me to "live on a farm". I will not have it.

P.S. Lauren tends to make a bit more sense than me. Check her out at https://lozzmagozz.wordpress.com/

Absence Makes The Heart Something Something...

Long time no see...

I suppose you'll be wondering "Just where have you been!?", "What have you been doing!?" & "Why do people keep on comparing you to *insert fascist dictator here*!?".

The answers are simple, yet the destination isn't important (or so I've been told). The adventure itself is too long and tenuously set to supply you with the desired finished product. But, I will try my hardest to deliver. Having spent the weekend camping in the rain with four other negatively charged writers, I'm feeling somewhat inspired.

Here goes.

Last year, along with a small group of friends & associates, I set about planning the final stages of a project that had taken me nearly a decade to realise. The basic idea was to create a fair & independent career step for musical artists, away from the cabaret & function band markets. Truth be told, not a thing exists nor is likely to exist in my lifetime. As I see it, you can be a poor workless artist, full of integrity & passion. Or, you can be a tired-out pop-star with a long line of credit & a lot of sins to answer for.

I can hear the argument now; "But what about the underground music scene?". Well, unfortunately, having worked there a while I can tell you straight, it's called the underground for a reason. It's cramped and it's noisy. Unless you get on a mad hype with a strong network to boot, you're pissing in the wind.

Which brings me neatly back.

The one thing I have always lacked is the network. The impenetrable web of contacts & correspondents to link me up to the what's & when's. The final stages of planning were to create a network of contacts within our local area as well as creating a public face for promotion & profiteering. Simple, right?

Wrong.

Long story short, in true historical fashion, a separatist group emerged within the network. After only six months of meetings, I found myself being lined-up for exile or worse. So, some time around May, I sacked off the traitors & switched up the plan. Snatching the company branding as I dived onto my dozing steed. Or something like that...

My reputation is still very much in recovery.

Lesson learned.

In June I joined forces with the Poet Tree Alliance, helping them plan their own projects, all the while keeping an eye out for rebel forces. They invited me to help them with a festival in Runnymede which seemed like a great idea at the time. Little did I know I'd be spending three days guarding speakers from hippies while surrounded by armed police.

During the three days I met some incredible people who had been living entirely independently from society for almost five years. Minus a bit of skip diving of course. They had free, clean running water, electricity & even toilets (the compost kind). Most of all, they were extremely positive about the whole thing. You'd expect seeing four winters with nothing but a few bits of re-purposed wood to keep you warm would wind you up a bit. Apparently it didn't.

On the Saturday night, I took over the running of the main stage along with the PTA, seeing as the organisers had scampered away at the first sign of ravers. The timings were all over the place and the sound was atrocious but a good time was had by all. Especially the acts themselves who all appeared to have taken one thing or another. One such highlight was a comedy threesome, two of which were on LSD & the other on shrooms. How's that for dynamics?

On the Sunday, without a wink, we tore it all down. We packed it all up. We negotiated our release with the police and we were off. There was a weird feeling amongst the group when we said our goodbyes. Almost defeated. Almost.

When I first arrived in Runnymede I declared it "Heaven on Earth". At first its humanity is overwhelming & awesome. Its ability to exist & thrive in the way it does seems nothing short of a miracle. After a couple days of starting again I got the point and I saw the cracks. When the glaze wore off I realised that what I saw wasn't a miracle, it was an opportunity. The people of Runnymede have a long way to go and a hell of a challenge. To start the world again in the image of community & sharing is not a popular thought in the eyes of politicians but on the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta, the law decreed Runnymede free to try. I'll be back again to visit soon. I'm hoping for a Waitrose BLT when I get there.

Even if it is only one day out-of-date.

Later in the month I headed out to Budapest, fleeting slightly to Bratislava somewhere in the middle. Taking in the sights & doing the done things was mostly on the agenda, aside from getting away from the nanny-state for a stint. We saw many things including one of the only Catholic churches to not have Jesus Christ at the alter (they'd opted for Saint Steven instead. Apparently they really like him there. Not that they don't like Jesus, he's all over the place. Its just that Steven is a really cool guy, you know?).

On top of the usual, we took a free walking tour of both towns, escaping our tour of Budapest because of rain & too many silly questions unanswered. We followed through with our tour of Bratislava and were treated to the location of a bar crawl later in the evening. After a quick bite to eat with a few other likely sorts we'd picked up a long the way, we argued bitterly about which direction the bar was in. I was so sure I was right. We drank, we danced & we somehow got back to our apartment in one piece.

By the time we got back to Budapest, I was adamant that I would play a gig while on the continent, having turned down a 2am slot at the local Irish pub a few nights before. Unfortunately, unless you're a huge La Roux fan, it's pretty hard to find the local music scene in Budapest. A bit like Milton Keynes. So, we opted for karaoke at a Janis Joplin themed pub instead, where I was coaxed into singing a song from The Little Mermaid OST.

On our last night we toyed with the idea of making our way out of town to an enormous cruise ship, converted into a plethora of nightclubs. After six hours of procrastinating and a quick visit to the famous baths, we made ourselves content that we wouldn't go. Instead, we headed deep into town to a place that people had been nagging us to see since we arrived. Not literally nagging but it helps with the story. So, after giving up on the cruise ship, we made our way to Szimpla.

In Hungary there's no pesky health & safety surrounding the laws on what you can do with a building. After World War Two, many of the constructs in Budapest were left to rot, only to be taken on by hostels & bars. If Szimpla was anything to go on, repairs & maintenance were low on the agenda. Unlike having a good time.

After a few drinks I happened upon a space in the vast cavernous venue with a stage. More than that, on the stage was a band. So, in I popped to have a listen. The band played out and everyone clapped and I found myself having a word with the singer. "Oh, no." he said. "It's not our gig. It's an open stage. Anyone can play!". "Right!" I said. "I'll do that."

Through some course of logistical drunkenness I stumbled onto the stage at Szimpla & did my best to entertain the crowd for a whole hour. We sang, we talked, we danced & fell over (a couple of times); the stage manager blocking my exit every time I made for the finale. He even threw me up for another one after I came back to collect my capo a couple of hours later, even more drunk. The band didn't seemed to mind or struggle too much to keep up with my astounding sense of rhythm. It was hilarious.

Other than that, I've been planning, painting & procrastinating as usual. Although I did differ from the norm & threw a Donald Trump(esque) beauty pageant at Properflop last week.

I think I might be losing my mind.

Have you seen it?