Tuesday 19 April 2016

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part One of Four Million, Six Hundred Thousand & Twenty Nine

Most recently (recently, meaning within the last six months), my friend Lauren - an avid writer herself - urged me to write a blog in autonomous fashion (writing without thinking too much, y'know?). Well Lauren, get your filthy claws out of my best friend you petulant wench!! Oh, & I wrote you a blog...

I sit here amongst a third of a lifespan's junk & sentiment, imagining how it got so messy. Here I was minding my own business, only to find some amorphous figure known as "25 years", drinking my tea & commenting on my dress-sense. Me, me, me... I think the problem lies somewhere there, doesn't it? It's become apparent to ME that the old ways of compassion, cooperation & empathy have adapted as much as I have; much in the same respect. Narcissism reigns supreme over a generation plagued by technology. In yesteryear, if something had spread as quickly as the internet, people would have burnt it & buried it... preferably side by side to create countryside boobies. The trick seems to be; only empty the ashtrays if it comes to it & only tidy up if injury occurs. I'd like to say "I used to be so clean & tidy, I've fallen so far from grace. Woe is me!". Unfortunately, maintenance has never been my strong suit. Neither has grace.

My Dad says to me; "Your problem is, you've figured it out. You know every inch of every step you have to take & yet you always try to find a way around." Damn right Dad, my legs hurt from lack of exercise! Seriously though, I'm my own worst enemy... Someone else recently proposed "You're self-absorbed & full of shit". They weren't wrong & indeed I've noticed it in myself. Similar statements have reared their heads more so these last few years. For a while there I assumed I was a good person with only the best as heart, making an ass of you AND me. Turns out narcissism is contagious & good will is relative.

Don't you hate it when you're starting a new job, or school or making your way through the pearly gates & someone gives you THAT look!? You know the look... To you it's; "YOU'RE A MUG & I'LL TURN THE WHOLE WORLD AGAINST YOU!!". To them it's probably something more like; "Who is this guy? Is he going to disgrace me!? I'll tell my mum...". Something like that anyway. The point is, without an inherent sense of empathy & understanding, we're all a bit screwed.

Positivity is one of the most important things for us to attempt, even if we're not wired for it. True say, yeah; We're all organic manifestations or energy, cascading in universal power. You dig? What I'm trying to say is; when it boils down to it, you're not working in admin & doing the washing up. You're expressing the unending flow of the universe. Even if that sounds nuts, it might do you to know that particle physicists would agree. There's a huge gap in understanding that tells us science & spiritualism (or Church & Skate for any noFX fans out there) are completely different things. Even in my addled state I can see two professions following a different methodology. Then again, if we can't get Christians & Muslims to quietly eat dinner together & biologists from throwing wine in everyone's faces (trying to get a reaction), how are we supposed to unite mankind? Plus, Einstein & Buddha have both sprung this mortal coil - meaning any ideas of an amicable tea party are long gone.

In my madness I started following a webinar (seminar for agoraphobics) on "How to be Successful in the New Music Industry!!1!". Never the sceptic, I throw myself straight in for an hour & fourty-five minutes of lecturing & note-taking. Bear in mind that through my studies elsewhere, I've grown to know just about everything there is to know about what these people were calling "the OLD music industry". Fifty minutes in I'm nodding my head like an idiot - lapping it up like the soppy flannel I am. In any case, she finally gets to the point... "My secret ingredient to my special sauce is.... *drum roll*... FACEBOOK ADS!!!!!". I sigh & get ready to give up on the whole thing, thinking "No shit Sherlock - what's your actual point!?" See, for anyone in the know, it's no secret that if you have a basic understanding of who you're selling to & enough of a budget to throw at your Facebook page, you will start to see a return. It works, yay skippy... can I have a budget now please? Long story long; she was selling courses on how to improve your Facebook ads. What's the point you say? There was none... Maybe that I'm gullible & have too much time on my hands?

In conclusion - between you, me & the gatepost - I'm a little bit worried about the EU thing. I don't understand a lot about it other than the universe must be bored shitless to come up with all that hassle. Tomorrow at work, or school or hanging ten in Shangri La - turn to the person next to you & tell them they're just a figment of something special. I'm not sure what will happen but that's the beauty of life. Turns out there is a literal calculation for human action & reaction within the known universe (abiding by common science). Who knew that all them lab coats could figure out such a thing as fate, or dare I say it, destiny! Which, by the way, was an awful example of a well-coded MMORPG. Nuff said.

I'm Billy Nomad & welcome to my head...

Goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: I am as mad as I appear to be in writing, I've simply chosen a style of writing that accentuates that madness to provide entertainment for my fellows. I am not in any way dangerous but at no point should you attempt to feed me, stroke me or send me to "live on a farm". I will not have it.

P.S. Lauren tends to make a bit more sense than me. Check her out at https://lozzmagozz.wordpress.com/

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