The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part 5ive of THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPELL FIVE!!!

Cast your minds back.

A couple of weeks ago at most, I published an article stating that people are idiots. I then went on to explain that through lack of general, spiritual & political education, we're all just a bunch of morons firing off doctrine on command. Surely, for those of you who read the article, you're thinking "why are you telling me this? I was there man...". Fair play. The point of me explaining that part again, if you'd just let me speak for one damn minute, was that this article ties in quite nicely with that. So, if you haven't read it, maybe you'd like to before I carry on...

Don't worry, I'll wait...

All done!? Okay, on with it.

I guess like a few people, my friend Danny Quin over at Bar Bar Black Sheep for one, me for two, genuinely consider the term "Netflix & chill" as an invitation to stick the kettle on & slip into PJ's. Casual sex aside, they've got some fairly decent stuff on there. Just this afternoon, I slipped into said lounge wear & stuck on a documentary, aptly named "(DIS)HONESTY, The Truth About Lies"; a subject which interests me greatly. Dan Ariely studies behavioural economics & throughout the film breaks down the individual factors of what drives someone to lie. As it turns out, with great relief, everyone does it! Coincidentally, everyone doing it is precisely one of these, what Dan calls, "Fudge Factors".

Now, think back over your life, over all your experiences & think... "have I ever told a lie?". Of course you have & if your answer was "no", you're probably lying. Sorry!

When I was younger, not much younger than today, i used to bullshit a lot. Now, bullshitting is that special kind of lying that's full of fluffy stuffing & complicated seams, an enigma at first but very easily rationalised to nothing. For instance, I would tell people that my Dad was working away from home or that I'd seen a man get shot, amongst all manner of irrelevant, made-up anecdotes in order to make myself feel like people could find me interesting. The problem being here, my friends spotting me in town with my Dad, two hours after I'd declared he was in Australia, or again, my friends working out that I'd never been to gangland Columbia. When we're young at mind we tend to be drawn by fantasy & fiction, making us feel less interesting or important than the fictional characters portrayed therein; making us feel as if our lives are somehow dull in comparison. Being a compulsive liar & being around quite a few others at school, I've become covertly skilled in spotting irrelevant bullshit; like, calling out your friend who has done everything you've done but bigger & better. There's a tone that's acquired when a person improvises a life event spontaneously, a look in the eye & a failure to stop while they're ahead. I'm often shocked out how many people in their adult lives still manage to follow through with this fantastical act of dishonesty, despite being guilty of it myself at times. I believe the only thing that's reduced my level of bullshit is the amount of genuine experiences I've had over the past few years. Since growing up & getting out into the world, I no longer feel dis-interesting or dull, I revel in retelling my life to anyone that will listen, purely for the looks on their faces when I assure them "Yes, that really happened!". Surprisingly, or rather not so, I'm more than likely to relapse around people I don't know or have very little in common with. I tend to bridge that gap with fluff galore.

I digress...

The documentary follows a series of interviews & experiments in order to illustrate the major factors of behavioural economics, right down to the nitty gritty. Without giving too much away, the film wraps up with the evidence that no one lies unless they feel like they, or someone they care about, have something to gain from it; seems pretty obvious, right? Despite it's apparent obviousness, I admire the revelation. If a person is correctly informed of what they stand to lose by lying, they just don't. The whole point of the film, as I see it, is that people lie to gain but won't if they stand to lose or effect others negatively. Equally, if a person is caught lying in a big way & falls foul of the consequences, it makes them more honest in the future. On top of all that, Dan Ariely expertly makes the case that a million small lies have more negative effect on society than one big juicy lie. I won't explain exactly how but watch the film to find out, I highly recommend it.

Now, I'm not sure about you but I find dishonesty to be a huge proportion of what's wrong with society. We have the media spinning webs, politicians providing misinformation & conspiracists by the truck load. I honestly don't know who or what to believe outside of my own small (but growing) network of friends & colleagues. It all seems like deception in one way or another, whether to meet an agenda or distract us from one. Yet, whatever the reasons, the effect is the same; this.

If we're lucky, those of us who don't follow one of the few mainstream religions have our own breed of moral compass, drilled into us by parents, teachers, employers & the like. We don't have the commandments to guide us in absolute certainty toward our spiritual essence. Instead, we are told "This is right, that is wrong" without a quantified explanation of the circumstances. To devout Christians, straying from God's message leads to eternal damnation & suffering. Simple, no one wants that. Unfortunately, I believe that the atomic & subatomic particles I'm made up of will be recycled when I'm gone, not sent downstairs to be prodded with a flamey stick. My consciousness (if that's what this experience is) will be recycled into free electromagnetic energy, ready for the next batch of bodies to make use of. So, for me, what is hell? It purely doesn't exist. So then, what of the consequences in my negative actions? Frankly, I don't know. Sure, I can surmise that punching someone in the face will result in their pain & likeliness to retaliate by punching me in the face. Any half-trained idiot can work that out. But what of the bigger picture? What of the butterfly effect in the actions I partake? What of the hell I leave behind for others?

As far as I can tell from my dilapidated ivory tower, a successful life follows thusly; Survive the first five years, Go to school & discover a passion, undertake further education & qualify in said passion, get on the career ladder, play the game of life (wife, kids & a family car) & then retire quietly for a few years before the inevitable happens. Trust me, I don't believe for one second that my choice of lifestyle benefits anyone in any great sense; I'm forever in poverty & an imposition to the vast majority of people I come into contact with. To tell the absolute truth, despite me being happy in following my "dream", I'm all too aware of the implications suffered by others for my benefit. This sours the milk, just a tad. Not to say it's all bad; I have found a lot of success in making people happy & enjoying my music with them. That fact will forever make it worth the worry. The thing is, despite sharing my negative experiences of this lifestyle, people are still prone to envy, much in the same way that I envy their stable, contented lives of work & family, with a moderately sustainable income to boot. The trouble being here that I have tried to live in that way many times & each time I'm overwhelmed by the blatant negativity of corporate control. I can see the lives that are affected by capitalism & consumerism, others can't. I believe that it's this lack of quantifiable guidance that has left us corrupted, liars & pretenders all. We honestly don't know any better.

If we were to try to figure out exactly what is wrong with this reality, I believe the place to start is finding out what's right. Much like Dan Ariely attempting to discover what makes liars tell the truth, I'm interested in finding out what makes people lead an honest life in every respect. Dan found that if he took away the gain in lying, or indeed by displaying the wrong in it, he could essentially revert people back to their honest, humble selves. I believe that if we were to make more of an effort to inform each other of the gains & losses served by leading any and all lifestyles, we would all be much happier & a lot less prone to feeling shit about ourselves. Then again, I could be wrong...

In conclusion, I believe we're all a little bit lost in this big wide world of ours & it starts with us to find a happy home. We don't need to be so at odds with life, the universe & everything. We should be enjoying it! Take some time to think about how your lifestyle affects the lives of everyone around you, present & future. Let me know what conclusions you come up with & I may well follow up in a future blog...

Nah, I'm lying!

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part Three of 3.33333333(recurring)

To tell you the honest truth; I haven't got the guts to Google "What happened between series two & three of Red Dwarf?". Why did Kryten reappear so casually, why was Holly replaced by Hilly & where did those Starbug things come from? That's not to mention the vast interior decoration job that took place between the two episodes.

As an adult, having grown up alongside the commercial internet, I'm finding it to be making me more dubious by the day. Do you remember a time when comment sections & forums weren't full of nit pickers & trolls? No, me either... I used to enjoy it to be fair. As an adult I crave for real grit, content, information, maybe even something interesting to tell the kids one day. Instead, most of the "fun" places online are crammed full of crap, crud & quite frankly bullshit. From the simple "10 eggs with funny faces" to "Paul McCartney died in the 60's", it's stopped being funny now. Too many people have caught me being gullible...

As a busker who became a songwriter who became an entertainer, I cringe at the notion that a good proportion of my career is net-bound. I'd prefer to have the phone ringing off the wall, be in the presence of people, play where the party's at. Call me a cynic but any time spent on a device during that experience is a ball ache. Then again, here I am on a big one instead of out there making friends...

Do you ever feel like there's a force in your life that's entirely diverting away from what you want to do with yourself? Do you ever feel like what you think you want to do isn't actually what you want to do? Do you worry that you might miss out either way? 

Google it.

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part One of Four Million, Six Hundred Thousand & Twenty Nine

Most recently (recently, meaning within the last six months), my friend Lauren - an avid writer herself - urged me to write a blog in autonomous fashion (writing without thinking too much, y'know?). Well Lauren, get your filthy claws out of my best friend you petulant wench!! Oh, & I wrote you a blog...

I sit here amongst a third of a lifespan's junk & sentiment, imagining how it got so messy. Here I was minding my own business, only to find some amorphous figure known as "25 years", drinking my tea & commenting on my dress-sense. Me, me, me... I think the problem lies somewhere there, doesn't it? It's become apparent to ME that the old ways of compassion, cooperation & empathy have adapted as much as I have; much in the same respect. Narcissism reigns supreme over a generation plagued by technology. In yesteryear, if something had spread as quickly as the internet, people would have burnt it & buried it... preferably side by side to create countryside boobies. The trick seems to be; only empty the ashtrays if it comes to it & only tidy up if injury occurs. I'd like to say "I used to be so clean & tidy, I've fallen so far from grace. Woe is me!". Unfortunately, maintenance has never been my strong suit. Neither has grace.

My Dad says to me; "Your problem is, you've figured it out. You know every inch of every step you have to take & yet you always try to find a way around." Damn right Dad, my legs hurt from lack of exercise! Seriously though, I'm my own worst enemy... Someone else recently proposed "You're self-absorbed & full of shit". They weren't wrong & indeed I've noticed it in myself. Similar statements have reared their heads more so these last few years. For a while there I assumed I was a good person with only the best as heart, making an ass of you AND me. Turns out narcissism is contagious & good will is relative.

Don't you hate it when you're starting a new job, or school or making your way through the pearly gates & someone gives you THAT look!? You know the look... To you it's; "YOU'RE A MUG & I'LL TURN THE WHOLE WORLD AGAINST YOU!!". To them it's probably something more like; "Who is this guy? Is he going to disgrace me!? I'll tell my mum...". Something like that anyway. The point is, without an inherent sense of empathy & understanding, we're all a bit screwed.

Positivity is one of the most important things for us to attempt, even if we're not wired for it. True say, yeah; We're all organic manifestations or energy, cascading in universal power. You dig? What I'm trying to say is; when it boils down to it, you're not working in admin & doing the washing up. You're expressing the unending flow of the universe. Even if that sounds nuts, it might do you to know that particle physicists would agree. There's a huge gap in understanding that tells us science & spiritualism (or Church & Skate for any noFX fans out there) are completely different things. Even in my addled state I can see two professions following a different methodology. Then again, if we can't get Christians & Muslims to quietly eat dinner together & biologists from throwing wine in everyone's faces (trying to get a reaction), how are we supposed to unite mankind? Plus, Einstein & Buddha have both sprung this mortal coil - meaning any ideas of an amicable tea party are long gone.

In my madness I started following a webinar (seminar for agoraphobics) on "How to be Successful in the New Music Industry!!1!". Never the sceptic, I throw myself straight in for an hour & fourty-five minutes of lecturing & note-taking. Bear in mind that through my studies elsewhere, I've grown to know just about everything there is to know about what these people were calling "the OLD music industry". Fifty minutes in I'm nodding my head like an idiot - lapping it up like the soppy flannel I am. In any case, she finally gets to the point... "My secret ingredient to my special sauce is.... *drum roll*... FACEBOOK ADS!!!!!". I sigh & get ready to give up on the whole thing, thinking "No shit Sherlock - what's your actual point!?" See, for anyone in the know, it's no secret that if you have a basic understanding of who you're selling to & enough of a budget to throw at your Facebook page, you will start to see a return. It works, yay skippy... can I have a budget now please? Long story long; she was selling courses on how to improve your Facebook ads. What's the point you say? There was none... Maybe that I'm gullible & have too much time on my hands?

In conclusion - between you, me & the gatepost - I'm a little bit worried about the EU thing. I don't understand a lot about it other than the universe must be bored shitless to come up with all that hassle. Tomorrow at work, or school or hanging ten in Shangri La - turn to the person next to you & tell them they're just a figment of something special. I'm not sure what will happen but that's the beauty of life. Turns out there is a literal calculation for human action & reaction within the known universe (abiding by common science). Who knew that all them lab coats could figure out such a thing as fate, or dare I say it, destiny! Which, by the way, was an awful example of a well-coded MMORPG. Nuff said.

I'm Billy Nomad & welcome to my head...

Goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: I am as mad as I appear to be in writing, I've simply chosen a style of writing that accentuates that madness to provide entertainment for my fellows. I am not in any way dangerous but at no point should you attempt to feed me, stroke me or send me to "live on a farm". I will not have it.

P.S. Lauren tends to make a bit more sense than me. Check her out at https://lozzmagozz.wordpress.com/

Everyone Has Their Drug... (Mine Is Biscuits)

Of the many things I've ingested over the years, a few could quite easily (and justifiably) be considered "drugs". The idea of a drug intrigues me as much as our obsession with them. Here, we have an entirely natural, habitable and hospitable reality in which to dwell. Yet, for our fair race the only interest seems to be escape. Through a variety of methods we all make our way into alternatives of all degrees. Whether it be the cheeky cigarette break or the full blown food frenzy, we all have addictions and our own personalised cocktail of drugs to treat them. For some it's sex, for others it's heroin, for me...

...Biscuits!

Okay, reasonably speaking I suffer from many an addiction but I'm taking a desert island approach to this subject. I believe it to be a fantastic idea to try and focus on one addiction and hope the others will simply get bored and go away. It hasn't worked so far but I'll be sure to keep you updated! If ever I find the patience to give up smoking I would be a very happy man indeed. For starters I would have more free cash, I would be healthier and more than likely, I'd be a little more sane. Tea on the other hand is one that will stay with me until the acid boils my belly and I die a very tea soaked death. Other than that, my exploits are mostly harmless...

Over the years my experience of drugs has led me to believe that the healthier option is always the best way to approach any and all inner demons.

Although...

LSD is an interesting experience that boggles the mind. The user is stripped of all conscious critical control and is subjected to an entirely emotional perspective of the world around them. Easily comparable to an extensive and strenuous attack on a large pile of Cannabis but with a hint of something more about it.

Cannabis itself is (to a casual user) a heavy, mellowing experience; although some possess an inexplicable tolerance toward it.  To the habitual, Cannabis is commonly experienced as a dull relief from a world that feels like a lot more effort than it should be.

MDMA is a drug cooked up by the devil himself. The experience can be enjoyable in small doses but overdoing it can lead to days of insomnia, unreasonable levels of forgetfulness and the mother of all jaw-aches.

Tobacco is one of the most dangerous and damaging drugs our race has ever encountered... apparently. It's true to say that the experience is mostly redundant compared to most other mainstream applications. It is in no way healthy and in no way complimentary to ones way of life and I believe the authorities may well be right in their quest to wean us off of it. Still, with the vast array of chemicals and compounds available on the black market, smokers should never be attacked so openly while users of more harmful drugs still remain unattended to (in the correct fashion).

Alcohol is the western world's poster-boy amongst all of the other drugs that are available to us, right now, out there. There is nothing more embarrassing nor harder to live down than drinking too much Whiskey and falling into a vomit-strewn bush, requesting your last, loving, dying words be sent ahead to your father. I'm yet (if ever) to experience a similar ordeal with any other drug. Due to it's usefulness as far as taxation is concerned, it remains unaffected by the "war on drugs" regardless of the number of people who have suffered from it's many negative attributes.

Speed (or "Amphetamines") is a reasonable resort if your intention is to stay awake all night and tap your foot inescapably. Then again, considering the cost and the long-term affects, you'd be better off stocking up some really classy coffee.

Biscuits bring about a sense of joy and satisfaction to every cup of tea. As far as I'm aware, biscuits have never been involved in any conflict. Other than, of course, the battle between not-dunked-enough & dunked-too-much. They don't cost an awful lot and if you're clever, most come with special offers attached. Biscuits may bring about an increase in general mass but this sacrifice seems acceptable considering the sheer amount of people dying over a few plants and a handful of clever scientists.

It's true, it is, that everybody has a drug. A manifestation of an inability to cope and perform as a stable-minded individual. Little things help some while extremes contain others. As John Lennon said; If we are to do anything at all about drugs and addiction, we need to discover what drives us to them and eliminate that need at it's source. Instead of treating the people behind the afflictions we perpetrate them and their suppliers with the full force of the law, hell begot (I'm paraphrasing, of course). Our understanding of drugs now as a species is incredible in proportion to John's time but our attitude toward the issue still stinks to high-heaven. With mental illness and drug use on the rise, perhaps in future, instead of attacking the issue with all the gusto of a pack of armed snails, we should educate and liberate each other from all the things out there that we know are not good for us.

For now... I think I'll have a custard cream.

That "War" Thing Over There...

"Until the colour of a man's skin is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes; Me say war."

Today, more than ever, we are aware of war. It comes in many shapes and sizes. From the petty disputes of overbearing policy & polite anarchy to the wars of religion, equality & money; we're all well and truly used to it. But, what is war? How do we as individuals better understand it and how can we better serve against it? First (as usual) we have to go back to the beginning!

Sorry...

As has always been the case, at it's core, war is seen as the ultimate disagreement. War occurs when two people cannot simply agree on a happy medium and conflict emerges. Originally this was an extremely brutal affair with much bludgeoning but has since developed into a highly orchestrated psychological attack. It is true to say that death and disarray still play a vital role in the success of war but only so far as to create a stressful working environment for one's opponent.

When the first kingdoms & empires sprung to fruition, land was freely available with little to no bloodshed. The tribes were a hassle to pillage, plunder and bribe but eventually the world was divvied up into his, hers & theirs. The rulers of these early nations saw profit in capturing their colleagues land and would arrange soldiers to occupy as much as possible, as soon as possible. Often, the opposing leader would retaliate by sending in their own soldiers and more often than not death on both sides would ensue. After a few hundred years, the more "in-tune" leaders formed alliances to make up numbers and protect themselves from the weaker, lesser nations. These organisations still exist and grow, although recent events have shown them for the fallacy they present. 

The excuses for war are endless and somewhat tedious but the reality of what war represents has never changed. Until now.

Over time, common sense and rational thinking have led to the discovery of the meaning of life. There is no meaning, do what you want. People have been aware of this fact for some time but with the distractions of divinity and personal ascension, it has remained widely ignored. Human beings are incredible at making excuses and have done so for generations. At the turn of the 21st century, ignorance became uncool and we started speaking out. I was 11 when I was sent home from school because a group of men, thousands of miles away, had decided to fly passenger planes into heavily populated buildings. The whole world shut down in those few hours while we were introduced to our first mainstream gang of terrorists and taught the basics of the new world order. Not many questions were asked at first, people were afraid, the gang was to be dealt with. The allied forces were dispatched in vast numbers to all manner of places to do their work and 12 years later, we're no closer to achieving a sensible agreement. 

There is one major difference between this latest bout of conflicts and it's predecessors; support. Propaganda plays a vital part along the way and can often lead to victory all on its own. Sending a positive message to one's populace not only rallies support in terms of fire-power but also in terms of financial backing. If the average number believes that they are contributing to a noble cause they will contribute in almost any way they can, even in the face of death. The trouble being that these days, the numbers aren't rolling in quite as fast as before. Negative press from independent sources has all but stripped this war of any reason or rhyme and any informed individual is as likely to subscribe to the war effort as they are to sign up for the other side. Several more conflicts have come to the public eye as part of the latest wave of propaganda overspill and British nationals have been migrating in droves to support rebel forces & so-called "terrorist" groups, rather than serve the organisations that house them. In a few short months, the allied forces are set to evacuate the war-zone they have exacerbated, yet it seems unlikely the dispute will resolve itself at any point in my lifetime. After-all, it's only been going on since the beginning of civilisation in the middle-east. 

Understanding war is like attempting to remove a brick wall with a wooden spoon; You're more than likely to wear yourself out before you've even begun to break the surface. In fact, war itself is inherently human, entirely illogical and (I believe) highly unnatural. In nature, an animal does not kill unless it feels it must. It will hunt the living for food but never for fun or fortune. It could be that one day, Farmer Bill had a disagreement with Farmer Phil about where the boundary fence should be between their two farms. Farmer Bill wanted it there but Farmer Phil wanted it there. Bill threatened to send over his oversized sons (Will & Gill) to settle the matter by way of fatality and Phil defeatedly mumbled "Go on... Take it all!", having only his undersized daughter (Jill) to defend him. I could quite happily see the result developing from there. Land, resources & control are still the playing field but Bill & Phil are now big fat bankers with wallets as fat as your fist and little to no interest in who's sons and daughters are involved in the onslaught. It's a sad state of affairs but it is the reality we've created. On the upside, it happens to be a reality we have express powers to change.

Often I wonder how I, little old me, can impact on that "war" thing over there. How can I help the people just like me in their homes, scared for their lives and those of their family? How can I send a message to those that choose to set the target and those that choose to pull the trigger? How do I make it stop?

First, I have to remember that alone I can achieve nothing more than a ripple. However tempting it is to hide from the noise, I know that the less involvement I have, the less impact I will have. Just by talking about what is going on and creating a public attitude toward a global issue can create an immense change. From there the potential is endless. Confronting the people that orchestrate these terrible deeds is a necessity but not to slay them or torture them or enslave them. No. To relieve them of their powers and to educate them in humanity. 

Come on. Give peace a chance! If not for John; Do it for me...?