The Ramblings of A Mad Man - Part Four of Something Something...

Far be it from me to be political (never!), I've been prodded & jibed by the online population far too much this week not to complain a little.

PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS!

Oh, you want more than that...? Fine!

I'm not a bold intellectual, a scholastic man. Not in the slightest. You may well find me pawing through some rather interesting videos on YouTube or scrolling my way into despair at some spectacular "scientific" articles. The problem there being you can rely on truth & proof as much as you can by delving into the Bible or any of the other Abrahamic "How To" guides. It's great for interpreting whatever the hell you want but standing up for anything you might believe, in most cases, tends to lead to embarrassment or offence. Finding the real gritty truth these days reminds me of a shit episode of the X-Files.

That wouldn't be such a problem if the obvious lies & conspiracy stood out to everyone as much as it does for me. We'd all giggle & move on with our lives, I'm sure of it. The thing is, we're not talking about flat Earth theories or hollow moons; I'm talking about the simple fact that our global society is in the toilet & everybody is pointing fingers, passing the blame to whatever fits their agenda. I am crazy so don't take it from me. In fact, if you're still reading this you might be crazy too; still don't take my word for it. Go outside & look around. Walk around your local shopping centres, parks, alleyways; think about what you see. Think back on your life & everything you've learned & assess the question, "is this it...?"

You may have assumed from my previous comments that I'm not a religious man & by many interpretations you may be correct. I see any & all strictly held beliefs as religions unto themselves, personal, spiritual, communal & political. By that understanding, someone who is devoutly healthy in their diet would be considered personally religious & may well have joined a gym with others who are communally religious in the same way. If that person enjoyed being an environmentalist who petitions for animal rights, they too could then be considered politically religious. I do hope I'm making sense. With all I've said in mind & nary more than doctrine to argue against me, religion & belief go hand in hand, whether you attend a church or not. Unlike many others, I would not consider myself religiously "tied-down" in any respect. I try to be open-minded to other peoples assessments & greatly enjoy the religions of Physics, Biology & Mathematics. Don't let that fool you; I also revel in reading anything that holds a message & serves a purpose, regardless of whether I believe or agree with it. I have been known to practise meditation & have great respect for the spiritual aspects of Hinduism & Buddhism.

There comes a point in everyone's lives, if the conditions are correct, that they will have to ask themselves; "What do I believe?". The question might not follow those exact words & indeed might barely be asked before action is required. In these moments it's up to us to act on our basic instincts & educations. Do we have that...?

Our priorities as a species are entirely misplaced if the current visual evidence is anything to go by. I see more homeless people on the streets now than ever before, families falling apart & children being abused, starved, misled & corrupted. News flash, that's only in this country. Friends of mine who have travelled to visit the most tragically affected among us tell of poverty & manipulation from the western world. At first I was asking myself; "Where are my taxes being spent?". Sure, the street lights are on & "I Love Bletchley Day" happens bang on time every year but what the fuck happened to the welfare state? In this day & age there should not be this blatant lack of mass education & harmony. People should know by now that we're all on the same bloody ship, heading for the same unknown destination. All the rest is rather clever but it's actually doing us some damage now. Could we slow down a bit & let the stragglers catch their breath? Equally, could you kindly ask that small group in the middle to stop whispering about killing us all? All too much has become important out of context. The optimist inside me cries out for a modern version of the 10 Commandments by means of a universal understanding. No? Would you rather keep on blowing up children in the Middle East while we figure out what's going on...? Why is it so hard to believe that we could all get our heads around a few simple rules like "Never kill a person without the consent of the person you are killing" or quite simply "Try not to be a cunt".

You're still wondering why people are idiots, right...? I'll get to the point.

More so these days, similarly to the homeless crisis, I see arguments on social media, news articles & YouTube videos galore. You're thinking; "Yeah but they're all the idiots in the world, arguing the toss because they're bored!" and you're right. I am literally shocked every time I see a well constructed sentence or God forbid a question. Instead what I see is people sticking up for things they haven't researched in the slightest or only believe in because they're gullible. Where does that get them? Nowhere.

My ultimate question is; When did it stop being our responsibility to learn first & educate later? We base our systems on outdated modes & curriculum that seem to be less relevant than what the child could be learning at home or from experiencing the world for real. We have bred a generation of careless & uneducated parents who are now passing the torch to a brood of smart phone consumerists who barely know what happens outside their own doors. We need to learn how to compensate & fast, otherwise the work of many thousands before us could be undone in a matter of decades. We need to care more about ourselves & others, always looking for the greater truth in everything.

I want to be able to come back here in 20 years & not feel the need to bitch like a stressy victim. Alright...?

Cheers!
   

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part Two of One

I'm sat here, halfway through two chocolate crepes. It's Friday night & even the taxi driver pointed out that I'm doing it wrong. I suppose at this rate it'll be etched on my gravestone; "Never stayed out late on Fridays". I know plenty of folk who wouldn't dream of departing their couches & futons for even a sniff of a party, let alone a full shebang! Here I am, being judged by the world for having a quiet night; cup of tea & mental breakdown in hand.

Do you ever feel like you've met your soul-mate, but fortunately your soul-mate is a twenty-four inch Korean TV with a built-in DVD player? Never mind all that chemical compatibility nonsense... I just want to know there's less wires getting in the way. Have you ever fallen in love with pyjamas? It's surprising how captivating cloth can be... especially when it's not questioning your long-term intentions or leaving sopping wet towels on your side of the bed.

YouTube is regularly feeding me conspiracy theories on the basis of a few careless forays into pseudo-science. Turns out the north pole of the planet Saturn is the devil, through which extra-dimensional beings are ejaculated & subjected to being shot down by US space nukes. US space nukes, you'll know, are those special kind of space nukes that are specially intended for blowing the bajeezus out of any unsuspecting earth-bound extra-dimensional devil spawn. If you didn't, now you do... I often worry about how many people buy into these ideas. I worry more for the unsuspecting earth-bound extra-dimensional devil spawn.

I'm eyeing up the second crepe now & only the fact that I'm smoking is getting in my way. Dilemma central... Drug addiction is an interesting complex to explore. John Lennon said something along the lines of; "We should stop mistreating the people who are addicted to drugs & try to figure out why they're addicted in the first place." As I write, there's a hint of doubt that I may have already written this paragraph before. Regardless, I like John & I think he has a point. Ultimately, we already know the answer. Where there's money to be exploited, exploitation be done. I smoke because I like it... It's a handy crux to fill an unidentified void & it's available. On the other hand, I really like these crepes...

Food for thought... You're a traveller on a journey of exploration. There's no aim to the journey, other than to see & experience everything you come into contact with. Many many years have passed & you have discovered many things, of the world & yourself. You've built roads & bridges, made friends & new family, seen good times & worse... You are ridden with the scars of your adventures, inside & out. Your life has become a novel worthy of the finest libraries. As your journey comes to a close, a man you recognise appears before you. He says; "I have heard your stories & know of your adventure. Why don't you go out and do it again?". Then he takes a million pound out of his pocket and sticks it on your filthy lap.

I'm Billy Nomad & welcome to my br(h)ead...

BYE

DISCLAIMER: I am as mad as I appear to be in writing, I've simply chosen a style of writing that accentuates that madness to provide entertainment for my fellows. I am not in any way dangerous but at no point should you attempt to feed me, stroke me or send me to "live on a farm". I will not have it.
   

The Ramblings of a Mad Man - Part One of Four Million, Six Hundred Thousand & Twenty Nine

Most recently (recently, meaning within the last six months), my friend Lauren - an avid writer herself - urged me to write a blog in autonomous fashion (writing without thinking too much, y'know?). Well Lauren, get your filthy claws out of my best friend you petulant wench!! Oh, & I wrote you a blog...

I sit here amongst a third of a lifespan's junk & sentiment, imagining how it got so messy. Here I was minding my own business, only to find some amorphous figure known as "25 years", drinking my tea & commenting on my dress-sense. Me, me, me... I think the problem lies somewhere there, doesn't it? It's become apparent to ME that the old ways of compassion, cooperation & empathy have adapted as much as I have; much in the same respect. Narcissism reigns supreme over a generation plagued by technology. In yesteryear, if something had spread as quickly as the internet, people would have burnt it & buried it... preferably side by side to create countryside boobies. The trick seems to be; only empty the ashtrays if it comes to it & only tidy up if injury occurs. I'd like to say "I used to be so clean & tidy, I've fallen so far from grace. Woe is me!". Unfortunately, maintenance has never been my strong suit. Neither has grace.

My Dad says to me; "Your problem is, you've figured it out. You know every inch of every step you have to take & yet you always try to find a way around." Damn right Dad, my legs hurt from lack of exercise! Seriously though, I'm my own worst enemy... Someone else recently proposed "You're self-absorbed & full of shit". They weren't wrong & indeed I've noticed it in myself. Similar statements have reared their heads more so these last few years. For a while there I assumed I was a good person with only the best as heart, making an ass of you AND me. Turns out narcissism is contagious & good will is relative.

Don't you hate it when you're starting a new job, or school or making your way through the pearly gates & someone gives you THAT look!? You know the look... To you it's; "YOU'RE A MUG & I'LL TURN THE WHOLE WORLD AGAINST YOU!!". To them it's probably something more like; "Who is this guy? Is he going to disgrace me!? I'll tell my mum...". Something like that anyway. The point is, without an inherent sense of empathy & understanding, we're all a bit screwed.

Positivity is one of the most important things for us to attempt, even if we're not wired for it. True say, yeah; We're all organic manifestations or energy, cascading in universal power. You dig? What I'm trying to say is; when it boils down to it, you're not working in admin & doing the washing up. You're expressing the unending flow of the universe. Even if that sounds nuts, it might do you to know that particle physicists would agree. There's a huge gap in understanding that tells us science & spiritualism (or Church & Skate for any noFX fans out there) are completely different things. Even in my addled state I can see two professions following a different methodology. Then again, if we can't get Christians & Muslims to quietly eat dinner together & biologists from throwing wine in everyone's faces (trying to get a reaction), how are we supposed to unite mankind? Plus, Einstein & Buddha have both sprung this mortal coil - meaning any ideas of an amicable tea party are long gone.

In my madness I started following a webinar (seminar for agoraphobics) on "How to be Successful in the New Music Industry!!1!". Never the sceptic, I throw myself straight in for an hour & fourty-five minutes of lecturing & note-taking. Bear in mind that through my studies elsewhere, I've grown to know just about everything there is to know about what these people were calling "the OLD music industry". Fifty minutes in I'm nodding my head like an idiot - lapping it up like the soppy flannel I am. In any case, she finally gets to the point... "My secret ingredient to my special sauce is.... *drum roll*... FACEBOOK ADS!!!!!". I sigh & get ready to give up on the whole thing, thinking "No shit Sherlock - what's your actual point!?" See, for anyone in the know, it's no secret that if you have a basic understanding of who you're selling to & enough of a budget to throw at your Facebook page, you will start to see a return. It works, yay skippy... can I have a budget now please? Long story long; she was selling courses on how to improve your Facebook ads. What's the point you say? There was none... Maybe that I'm gullible & have too much time on my hands?

In conclusion - between you, me & the gatepost - I'm a little bit worried about the EU thing. I don't understand a lot about it other than the universe must be bored shitless to come up with all that hassle. Tomorrow at work, or school or hanging ten in Shangri La - turn to the person next to you & tell them they're just a figment of something special. I'm not sure what will happen but that's the beauty of life. Turns out there is a literal calculation for human action & reaction within the known universe (abiding by common science). Who knew that all them lab coats could figure out such a thing as fate, or dare I say it, destiny! Which, by the way, was an awful example of a well-coded MMORPG. Nuff said.

I'm Billy Nomad & welcome to my head...

Goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: I am as mad as I appear to be in writing, I've simply chosen a style of writing that accentuates that madness to provide entertainment for my fellows. I am not in any way dangerous but at no point should you attempt to feed me, stroke me or send me to "live on a farm". I will not have it.

P.S. Lauren tends to make a bit more sense than me. Check her out at https://lozzmagozz.wordpress.com/

Absence Makes The Heart Something Something...

Long time no see...

I suppose you'll be wondering "Just where have you been!?", "What have you been doing!?" & "Why do people keep on comparing you to *insert fascist dictator here*!?".

The answers are simple, yet the destination isn't important (or so I've been told). The adventure itself is too long and tenuously set to supply you with the desired finished product. But, I will try my hardest to deliver. Having spent the weekend camping in the rain with four other negatively charged writers, I'm feeling somewhat inspired.

Here goes.

Last year, along with a small group of friends & associates, I set about planning the final stages of a project that had taken me nearly a decade to realise. The basic idea was to create a fair & independent career step for musical artists, away from the cabaret & function band markets. Truth be told, not a thing exists nor is likely to exist in my lifetime. As I see it, you can be a poor workless artist, full of integrity & passion. Or, you can be a tired-out pop-star with a long line of credit & a lot of sins to answer for.

I can hear the argument now; "But what about the underground music scene?". Well, unfortunately, having worked there a while I can tell you straight, it's called the underground for a reason. It's cramped and it's noisy. Unless you get on a mad hype with a strong network to boot, you're pissing in the wind.

Which brings me neatly back.

The one thing I have always lacked is the network. The impenetrable web of contacts & correspondents to link me up to the what's & when's. The final stages of planning were to create a network of contacts within our local area as well as creating a public face for promotion & profiteering. Simple, right?

Wrong.

Long story short, in true historical fashion, a separatist group emerged within the network. After only six months of meetings, I found myself being lined-up for exile or worse. So, some time around May, I sacked off the traitors & switched up the plan. Snatching the company branding as I dived onto my dozing steed. Or something like that...

My reputation is still very much in recovery.

Lesson learned.

In June I joined forces with the Poet Tree Alliance, helping them plan their own projects, all the while keeping an eye out for rebel forces. They invited me to help them with a festival in Runnymede which seemed like a great idea at the time. Little did I know I'd be spending three days guarding speakers from hippies while surrounded by armed police.

During the three days I met some incredible people who had been living entirely independently from society for almost five years. Minus a bit of skip diving of course. They had free, clean running water, electricity & even toilets (the compost kind). Most of all, they were extremely positive about the whole thing. You'd expect seeing four winters with nothing but a few bits of re-purposed wood to keep you warm would wind you up a bit. Apparently it didn't.

On the Saturday night, I took over the running of the main stage along with the PTA, seeing as the organisers had scampered away at the first sign of ravers. The timings were all over the place and the sound was atrocious but a good time was had by all. Especially the acts themselves who all appeared to have taken one thing or another. One such highlight was a comedy threesome, two of which were on LSD & the other on shrooms. How's that for dynamics?

On the Sunday, without a wink, we tore it all down. We packed it all up. We negotiated our release with the police and we were off. There was a weird feeling amongst the group when we said our goodbyes. Almost defeated. Almost.

When I first arrived in Runnymede I declared it "Heaven on Earth". At first its humanity is overwhelming & awesome. Its ability to exist & thrive in the way it does seems nothing short of a miracle. After a couple days of starting again I got the point and I saw the cracks. When the glaze wore off I realised that what I saw wasn't a miracle, it was an opportunity. The people of Runnymede have a long way to go and a hell of a challenge. To start the world again in the image of community & sharing is not a popular thought in the eyes of politicians but on the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta, the law decreed Runnymede free to try. I'll be back again to visit soon. I'm hoping for a Waitrose BLT when I get there.

Even if it is only one day out-of-date.

Later in the month I headed out to Budapest, fleeting slightly to Bratislava somewhere in the middle. Taking in the sights & doing the done things was mostly on the agenda, aside from getting away from the nanny-state for a stint. We saw many things including one of the only Catholic churches to not have Jesus Christ at the alter (they'd opted for Saint Steven instead. Apparently they really like him there. Not that they don't like Jesus, he's all over the place. Its just that Steven is a really cool guy, you know?).

On top of the usual, we took a free walking tour of both towns, escaping our tour of Budapest because of rain & too many silly questions unanswered. We followed through with our tour of Bratislava and were treated to the location of a bar crawl later in the evening. After a quick bite to eat with a few other likely sorts we'd picked up a long the way, we argued bitterly about which direction the bar was in. I was so sure I was right. We drank, we danced & we somehow got back to our apartment in one piece.

By the time we got back to Budapest, I was adamant that I would play a gig while on the continent, having turned down a 2am slot at the local Irish pub a few nights before. Unfortunately, unless you're a huge La Roux fan, it's pretty hard to find the local music scene in Budapest. A bit like Milton Keynes. So, we opted for karaoke at a Janis Joplin themed pub instead, where I was coaxed into singing a song from The Little Mermaid OST.

On our last night we toyed with the idea of making our way out of town to an enormous cruise ship, converted into a plethora of nightclubs. After six hours of procrastinating and a quick visit to the famous baths, we made ourselves content that we wouldn't go. Instead, we headed deep into town to a place that people had been nagging us to see since we arrived. Not literally nagging but it helps with the story. So, after giving up on the cruise ship, we made our way to Szimpla.

In Hungary there's no pesky health & safety surrounding the laws on what you can do with a building. After World War Two, many of the constructs in Budapest were left to rot, only to be taken on by hostels & bars. If Szimpla was anything to go on, repairs & maintenance were low on the agenda. Unlike having a good time.

After a few drinks I happened upon a space in the vast cavernous venue with a stage. More than that, on the stage was a band. So, in I popped to have a listen. The band played out and everyone clapped and I found myself having a word with the singer. "Oh, no." he said. "It's not our gig. It's an open stage. Anyone can play!". "Right!" I said. "I'll do that."

Through some course of logistical drunkenness I stumbled onto the stage at Szimpla & did my best to entertain the crowd for a whole hour. We sang, we talked, we danced & fell over (a couple of times); the stage manager blocking my exit every time I made for the finale. He even threw me up for another one after I came back to collect my capo a couple of hours later, even more drunk. The band didn't seemed to mind or struggle too much to keep up with my astounding sense of rhythm. It was hilarious.

Other than that, I've been planning, painting & procrastinating as usual. Although I did differ from the norm & threw a Donald Trump(esque) beauty pageant at Properflop last week.

I think I might be losing my mind.

Have you seen it?

Trick or Treat (Hallo-what!?)

Well, it’s not that I’m against anyone having fun or celebrating whatever pagan/religious festival that comes along, but what the hell is Halloween all about? 

When I was a youngster we didn’t dress up in ludicrous costumes and demand (by text) to be given money or a large bucketful of sweets with the veiled threat that if you don’t comply you could find your car tyres let down, or worse. In homes all over the country people are switching off their lights, turning down the TV and pretending not to be home. The whole thing has got completely out of hand. And what’s with the expensive costumes? Designer death masks and Gucci hats? The shops are definitely making a fortune, no doubt about that, but is it really necessary? Do we have to be plagued by special offers? 2 pumpkins for the price of one, £5 box of trick or treat sweets, which will probably disappear after the first callers! It is all designed to part you from your money, while being told how much you are going to enjoy it. Can’t we have a good time without having to mortgage our souls?

Yes, souls folks, that is what Halloween is all about. All Souls Eve, that is what we are celebrating. No one, not even the cleverest of scholars can be absolutely certain where this festival originates. Quite possibly it hearkens back to the ancient Roman feast of Parentalia which was a festival in honour of the dead. It seems you’d take a picnic down to the tomb of your ancestors and share the holiday with them! Sounds a bit creepy, but I suspect not as creepy as a menacing 7 year old wearing a David Cameron face mask and toting a large brick!

The concept of death and rebirth is as old as, well death and rebirth, and this festival is also associated with holding back the death of summer. There are many varied interpretations of the festival going back to Anglo Saxon times, and of course Christianity put it’s on inevitable twist on it. However, it was left to good Old Uncle Sam to give us ‘trick or treat’ and dressing up in a variety of costumes that have little or nothing to do with the original spirit of the festival.

We are fast becoming the playthings of consumerism. It happened with Easter and Christmas, now the minor festivals are being targeted. However much this may sting the faceless corporations who make a fortune out of this I think we should simplify things a little. Now my idea which would combine i) remembering the dead, ii) being a bit of spooky fun, iii) obtaining money and/or gifts, would be to approach the house wearing normal clothing, pale faced (perhaps a cheap bag of flour would help), and when the owner opens the door, whisper in clear yet dulcet tones ‘I SEE DEAD PEOPLE’. Now if this doesn’t result in payment I’ll eat my pumpkin!! 

 Let’s get the party rolling!

- Cleo Bloggs

That "War" Thing Over There...

"Until the colour of a man's skin is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes; Me say war."

Today, more than ever, we are aware of war. It comes in many shapes and sizes. From the petty disputes of overbearing policy & polite anarchy to the wars of religion, equality & money; we're all well and truly used to it. But, what is war? How do we as individuals better understand it and how can we better serve against it? First (as usual) we have to go back to the beginning!

Sorry...

As has always been the case, at it's core, war is seen as the ultimate disagreement. War occurs when two people cannot simply agree on a happy medium and conflict emerges. Originally this was an extremely brutal affair with much bludgeoning but has since developed into a highly orchestrated psychological attack. It is true to say that death and disarray still play a vital role in the success of war but only so far as to create a stressful working environment for one's opponent.

When the first kingdoms & empires sprung to fruition, land was freely available with little to no bloodshed. The tribes were a hassle to pillage, plunder and bribe but eventually the world was divvied up into his, hers & theirs. The rulers of these early nations saw profit in capturing their colleagues land and would arrange soldiers to occupy as much as possible, as soon as possible. Often, the opposing leader would retaliate by sending in their own soldiers and more often than not death on both sides would ensue. After a few hundred years, the more "in-tune" leaders formed alliances to make up numbers and protect themselves from the weaker, lesser nations. These organisations still exist and grow, although recent events have shown them for the fallacy they present. 

The excuses for war are endless and somewhat tedious but the reality of what war represents has never changed. Until now.

Over time, common sense and rational thinking have led to the discovery of the meaning of life. There is no meaning, do what you want. People have been aware of this fact for some time but with the distractions of divinity and personal ascension, it has remained widely ignored. Human beings are incredible at making excuses and have done so for generations. At the turn of the 21st century, ignorance became uncool and we started speaking out. I was 11 when I was sent home from school because a group of men, thousands of miles away, had decided to fly passenger planes into heavily populated buildings. The whole world shut down in those few hours while we were introduced to our first mainstream gang of terrorists and taught the basics of the new world order. Not many questions were asked at first, people were afraid, the gang was to be dealt with. The allied forces were dispatched in vast numbers to all manner of places to do their work and 12 years later, we're no closer to achieving a sensible agreement. 

There is one major difference between this latest bout of conflicts and it's predecessors; support. Propaganda plays a vital part along the way and can often lead to victory all on its own. Sending a positive message to one's populace not only rallies support in terms of fire-power but also in terms of financial backing. If the average number believes that they are contributing to a noble cause they will contribute in almost any way they can, even in the face of death. The trouble being that these days, the numbers aren't rolling in quite as fast as before. Negative press from independent sources has all but stripped this war of any reason or rhyme and any informed individual is as likely to subscribe to the war effort as they are to sign up for the other side. Several more conflicts have come to the public eye as part of the latest wave of propaganda overspill and British nationals have been migrating in droves to support rebel forces & so-called "terrorist" groups, rather than serve the organisations that house them. In a few short months, the allied forces are set to evacuate the war-zone they have exacerbated, yet it seems unlikely the dispute will resolve itself at any point in my lifetime. After-all, it's only been going on since the beginning of civilisation in the middle-east. 

Understanding war is like attempting to remove a brick wall with a wooden spoon; You're more than likely to wear yourself out before you've even begun to break the surface. In fact, war itself is inherently human, entirely illogical and (I believe) highly unnatural. In nature, an animal does not kill unless it feels it must. It will hunt the living for food but never for fun or fortune. It could be that one day, Farmer Bill had a disagreement with Farmer Phil about where the boundary fence should be between their two farms. Farmer Bill wanted it there but Farmer Phil wanted it there. Bill threatened to send over his oversized sons (Will & Gill) to settle the matter by way of fatality and Phil defeatedly mumbled "Go on... Take it all!", having only his undersized daughter (Jill) to defend him. I could quite happily see the result developing from there. Land, resources & control are still the playing field but Bill & Phil are now big fat bankers with wallets as fat as your fist and little to no interest in who's sons and daughters are involved in the onslaught. It's a sad state of affairs but it is the reality we've created. On the upside, it happens to be a reality we have express powers to change.

Often I wonder how I, little old me, can impact on that "war" thing over there. How can I help the people just like me in their homes, scared for their lives and those of their family? How can I send a message to those that choose to set the target and those that choose to pull the trigger? How do I make it stop?

First, I have to remember that alone I can achieve nothing more than a ripple. However tempting it is to hide from the noise, I know that the less involvement I have, the less impact I will have. Just by talking about what is going on and creating a public attitude toward a global issue can create an immense change. From there the potential is endless. Confronting the people that orchestrate these terrible deeds is a necessity but not to slay them or torture them or enslave them. No. To relieve them of their powers and to educate them in humanity. 

Come on. Give peace a chance! If not for John; Do it for me...?  

To Me. To You.

It seems to be, that all you see, is violence in movies & sex on TV... Where are those good old fashioned values, in which we used to rely...? Lucky there's a judgmental bastard like me to put you right!

The art of conversation is a simple and effective affair, shareable by all speaking mammals. In the beginning, our vocal chords were fine-tuned for delivering the exact information we wished to convey, such as; "Help, I'm being eaten!" or "Let's go hunting over there today...". As we've developed, so has our language and the way we use it. More so than ever we share what I like to call "non-vital information", otherwise explainable as "things we don't actually need to talk about". Here is a valuable list of conversational do's that I hope will help comfort you through these spontaneous bouts of chuntering.

1. A conversation is not a competition. DO remember to be open-minded and considerate of other people's perspectives. There is no way of "winning".
2. The information you're hearing could be just as important as the information you're sharing. DO remember to listen effectively and act accordingly. Assumptions make for a bad time.
3. The speed at which you process information is much slower than the speed at which you talk. DO remember to slow down to give your partner the optimum experience. Understanding is vital.
4. A conversation is served best at room temperature, face-to-face. DO remember that text messaging and phone calls are a cheap alternative to the real thing. Body language counts for over 70% of all conversational interpretation.
5. A conversation is a two-way street. DO remember to wait your turn. There's nothing worse than trampling on someone's point, even if you do think that what you have to say is more important.

Using these 5 simple rules will not only help you to become more adept at holding a conversation but will also make you a more enjoyable person to converse with. Be aware that not every person you come into contact with will have foreknowledge of these facts and may well require a small strike to the throat. Alternatively, send them here to learn what it is that's annoying you most. Sharing is caring...

Said-U-Cation

Once upon a time, not so long ago, in the heat of the moment, I made a statement. Some would choose to be greatly offended by the words that passed my lips, yet none so far have denied my truth;

"There are two things distinctly wrong with our entire society which have affected us to a great extent. Parenting & education." 

Bold as it is to state (being neither a parent or a teacher), I believe I may be able to save myself from the imminent death, which lurks in the mind of anyone serving either profession while reading those words. Please, refrain from doing so... I merely mean to opinionate and never to offend. 

Back when early humans were developing as monkeys, society was a natural & well-served affair. Participants were so unintelligent that they willingly partook in the habits of their brethren with little to no questions asked or answered. The "system", as it was in those days, depended on a few simple tasks being taken up by the entire collective in order to achieve contentment & safety amongst the body. Things such as hunting, foraging & childcare. There was never a need for much else and the people of that time both knew & respected the natural way of things. Instinctively, passing this knowledge to their children, the education & parenting systems were unknowingly formed. 

As our brains & bodies developed we became not only more intelligent but more considerate. We had achieved the ability to question openly and receive answers knowingly. The systems that we had put in place as our former selves had in turn become questionable & malleable. The first nurseries were formed as tribes grew in numbers while demands on parents became more time-consuming. With more mouths to feed; more meat must be hunted, more fruit must be foraged & more wood must be found for fire. Again, we respected these natural requirements. Revering the forces of nature as divine. Teaching our fledglings the same by way of practical learning when the time came. 

The late great Douglas Adams made an interesting case back in 1998 when he spoke of a similar assumption. He said; "Imagine early man. Early man is, like everything else, an evolved creature and he finds himself in a world that he's begun to take a little charge of; he's begun to be a tool-maker, a changer of his environment with the tools that he's made and he makes tools, when he does, in order to make changes in his environment. To give an example of the way man operates compared to other animals, consider speciation, which, as we know, tends to occur when a small group of animals gets separated from the rest of the herd by some geological upheaval, population pressure, food shortage or whatever and finds itself in a new environment with maybe something different going on. Take a very simple example; maybe a bunch of animals suddenly finds itself in a place where the weather is rather colder. We know that in a few generations those genes which favour a thicker coat will have come to the fore and we'll come and we'll find that the animals have now got thicker coats. Early man, who's a tool maker, doesn't have to do this: he can inhabit an extraordinarily wide range of habitats on earth, from tundra to the Gobi Desert - he even manages to live in New York for heaven's sake - and the reason is that when he arrives in a new environment he doesn't have to wait for several generations; if he arrives in a colder environment and sees an animal that has those genes which favour a thicker coat, he says “I'll have it off him”. Tools have enabled us to think intentionally, to make things and to do things to create a world that fits us better. Now imagine an early man surveying his surroundings at the end of a happy day's tool making. He looks around and he sees a world which pleases him mightily: behind him are mountains with caves in - mountains are great because you can go and hide in the caves and you are out of the rain and the bears can't get you; in front of him there's the forest - it's got nuts and berries and delicious food; there's a stream going by, which is full of water - water's delicious to drink, you can float your boats in it and do all sorts of stuff with it; here's cousin Ug and he's caught a mammoth - mammoth's are great, you can eat them, you can wear their coats, you can use their bones to create weapons to catch other mammoths. I mean this is a great world, it's fantastic. But our early man has a moment to reflect and he thinks to himself, 'well, this is an interesting world that I find myself in' and then he asks himself a very treacherous question, a question which is totally meaningless and fallacious, but only comes about because of the nature of the sort of person he is, the sort of person he has evolved into and the sort of person who has thrived because he thinks this particular way. Man the maker looks at his world and says 'So who made this then?' Who made this? - you can see why it's a treacherous question. Early man thinks, 'Well, because there's only one sort of being I know about who makes things, whoever made all this must therefore be a much bigger, much more powerful and necessarily invisible, one of me and because I tend to be the strong one who does all the stuff, he's probably male'. And so we have the idea of a god. Then, because when we make things we do it with the intention of doing something with them, early man asks himself , 'If he made it, what did he make it for?' Now the real trap springs, because early man is thinking, 'This world fits me very well. Here are all these things that support me and feed me and look after me; yes, this world fits me nicely' and he reaches the inescapable conclusion that whoever made it, made it for him."

When we as a species moved away from the idea of nature & into the realms of Gods and Goddesses, we adapted the way we taught our young significantly. The first churches and indeed schools were formed, taking education further from the control of experience. Over successive generations, wires crossed & necessary values were overlooked. More value was placed in the ever-growing sense of divinity that we ourselves had created than in our instinctive knowledge. By the time our modern, mainstream Gods had made centre stage we had established trade and with it an economy. Distracting us further from the most important of our few necessities; childcare. With the fall of the divine Goddess during the Pagan genocide, women were placed at a lower importance than man and seen as a subservient being. Religion, conquest & the economy replacing her as man's best friend. 

In the modern age, we have all but overcome such travesties. In the western world, religion is falling rapidly and the economy is steadily becoming something of an irritation to the average person. With the rise of the internet we are more aware than ever of the corruption which has stalked us from our very earliest developments as a species. Politicians, religious leaders & banking executives are often perceived as the bane of our existence. With it though we are awash with conflicting ideals and moral values, sprung from the very cause of our confusions. Lack of effective education. We are well and truly bombarded with the moral dilemmas of what we see happening elsewhere in the world and have little to no knowledge of what to do to help make things right. Children die on our TV & computer screens as we watch in deliberation and dismay. We have absolutely no idea of how to liberate our fellow man without the necessary sacrifice to our own relatively comfortable way of life. 

Today, the issues we face as a species haven't changed in the slightest since our humble beginnings. The three major components for our survival remain in tact, regardless of our distractions & conflicting ideals. Yet, with our early hobbies becoming modern habits we seem unable to break out of the cycle of curriculum & conformity. One's career is seen as a higher importance than another's happiness. Personal growth & development have taken the place of collectivism & mutual satisfaction. The trouble being the sheer amount of what I like to call "Said-U-Cation". 

I have always made the case that one cannot possibly know what has not been experienced or learned personally. The assumption was made some time ago that by simply unearthing a truth on an individual or group of people somehow makes them wiser and as such in a higher state of education. Consider for a moment a carpenter who has yet to craft wood. The individual may well have been preached the basics of woodwork but without undertaking the psychical process involved, they can be no more assured that what they have learned is based in fact or rumour. By interacting with said wood and forging the intended article, the participant is no longer educated but experienced. This brings about an absolute truth that can no more be denied than avoided. However, our society wrongly relies on so many things that cannot be physically experienced nor enjoyed. We are taught that relieving ourselves of any and all physical hardship is the highest priority and will lead to our much sought after enlightenment. Our basic desires are placed in the background of conciousness and more often than not entirely taken for granted. 

I believe that the easiest way to escape this apparent trap is remembering to teach our children the reason and rhyme behind our existence. Remembering to teach them what is necessary and what is accessory. Remembering to teach them to teach the same. Although in the great scheme of things our time here is minute and fleeting, the significance & impact we have while here is both incredible & awe-inspiring. Yes, we have a responsibility to develop and grow, but as a species and not as a rabble of individuals. Parents, teachers & in turn all of us alike hold an equal responsibility to share the truth that we all know by pure instinct alone. We all deserve to know the reasoning behind our existence and we are all accountable in delivering it. First & foremost we are here to survive. Everything else is a bonus...



P.S. I highly recommend reading the entire speech made by Douglas at Biota 2 in '98. He makes an extremely inspiring case. Check it out @ http://www.biota.org/people/douglasadams/ 

Amster-Damned!

They say that Amsterdam is the sex, drugs (but not Rock 'N' Roll) capital of the world. Whoever "They" are... It is said to be one of the most dangerous places in the world. Apparently...

For years family, friends & other such familiarities boasted of their adventures to the heart of the Netherlands. With its lanky structures and thriving culture. Miles of canals & smiles as far as the eye can see. To me it appeared a veritable dream. A wonderland. I've always been partial to eye candy, especially when it comes in the form of nature, architecture & ultimately, fun.

Long gone is our ability to appreciate what we see with our eyes and experience with the power of our feet. Even grown adults in the UK appear lost for things to do past toying with technology & ingesting some form of drug or another. Despite a high level of culture still evident in the larger cities & districts, smaller towns and cities have taken to dying out sometime around 7pm for dinner and waking early the next day for another round of work. Life is still apparent but a huge chunk of our culture has fallen into neglect since the plummet of the popular music industry in the 1990's. Being born at the cusp of that turn, Amsterdam struck as the ideal destination to help me regain some faith in the world. 

As I stepped onto the tarmac at Zeeburg tram station, it occurred to me that for the next 3 days I would be very much at home. As far as the landscape told, we could have been back in Buckinghamshire. Rolling green fields as far as the morning fog would allow, permeated with several small, unobtrusive settlements. The only tell-tale sign that we were anywhere but home was the long foretold windmills dotted here and there, standing proudly & effortlessly on the canvas before me.

After the 14 hour trip, hopping between the busses, boats & trains, stresses were high. Causing petty disputes to break out. The result was a slightly dulled tram journey into the centre of Amsterdam in which I was consumed by the various notices & advertisements plastered about the carriage. The Dutch language is an incredible feat. Germanic by birth & poetic by nature, I could spend hours & more attempting to work out every nuance of their alien tongue.

After what felt like moments, the first signs of densely packed civilisation made their way into centre stage. Long gone was grass & unabolished nature. Enter cobbles & chorus...

The sheer sound of Amsterdam is astonishing. Not a moments silence occurs, even in the darkest corner of the deepest of night. Making our way from the tram, the music of footsteps, engines & distant speakers possessed the atmosphere. Laughter, joy & chatter scattered throughout the inescapable sound-scape made for the perfect touch. 

Priorities in place, feet made for way for tea & bodies followed. Eyes distracted by the plethora of sights to see. We made haste along the bustling concourse of shops, museums, bars & hostels known as Damrak. Surrounded by enormous, brilliantly crafted spectacles of human creation. Their homes & habitats presented as pieces of art. Reaching high into the Dutch sky. After a brief stint of awe, warm water was found and tea bags issued, ready for the days planning.

I fished my scrappiest of papers from my most affordable of bags and fished deeper for a working pen. Upon this paper I made my agenda for the week both clear & concise;

1. Sex Museum
2. Anne Frank
3. Boat Tour
4. Have Spliff

Prior to my journey, one place in particular had been emphasized above all else, even by my own Grandparents. The Sex Museum. Curiosity had gotten the better of me and on the very last day we did indeed adventure gormlessly past the erect doormen & beyond. I highly recommend it. 

But of course Anne's 'Ouse had to be on the list. The very place that Anne Frank hid away from the Nazi forces with nothing but a diary to entertain her. The tour is gloomy & perfectly orchestrated to deliver the mood one would expect from visiting such a desperate place. Steep, narrow staircases & hidden doorways were the only defence from each successive room. Each with it's own history. Each with it's one tale; delivered by the spirit of Anne Frank & her trusted journal.

When someone says "canal", I say "Grand Union"! Of course, Amsterdam's canals are nothing of the sort. Equal to Venice itself, Amsterdam has more waterways & lochs than your average town or city. Yet, it's equally impressive how easily one can take it upon themselves to hire a 4-person pedalo & embark on the Amsterdam canal system as if on some noble sea voyage. Slowly but surely, we survived our gruesome trek on closed waters. Despite having been set upon by an angry, saxophonic tour boat & a low hanging tree. 

Fourth on the list was perhaps the most daunting of all our ventures. I have experienced Cannabis in England many times but never had I the opportunity to do so in peace. Strange as it seems, the experience is altogether different. Gone is the over-hanging sense of impending punishment & perhaps more-so, guilt. The common misconception lies that Cannabis is legal in Amsterdam. That is not the case... Cannabis (amongst other drugs) have been decriminalised and therefore can be distributed & consumed on licensed premises. If you were to be found smoking or otherwise ingesting Cannabis in the street, you would risk facing charges for not only use-of but also possession-of. Licensing laws are becoming stricter in Amsterdam & elsewhere in Holland such as Rotterdam, but a few loyal "Coffee Shops" remain. My favourite of the pick was The Doors Cafe. Once owned by Jim Morrison himself and perhaps still by his estate, it just so happened to be on the corner of the block that we were staying on and played the perfect setting for morning & evening cups of tea. 

The morning of the final day came upon us like a storm. Moods were low as bags were packed, ready to depart our spectacular Dutch grotto. It's 3-storey bodice boasted a beautiful creation. My favourite part of which was the low, dark loft conversion that very quickly became my home for the duration. The bed(s) was awful but there's something distinctively seductive in saying "Close the hatch...". We were blessed to find a fully-fledged entertainment system & book collection waiting for us on our arrival but with the whole world waiting outside, we had other plans...

Saucijzenbroodje were had by all (apart from the vegetarian) and off we headed, for our very last exploration of Amsterdam and it's many wonders. Namely China Town, the infamous "Red Light District", Dam Square & beyond. 

A glorious adventure & a highly recommended holiday for anyone looking for real-world beauty. Go to Amsterdam. Lively up yourself! 

Love & Marriage

Best served warm, Love really does seem to be all you need when you're without it and meaningless when you're in it. Much theorised and rarely fully understood, Love is an enigma. A blessing & a curse. What is it? What does it mean? What am I supposed to do about it? The right questions are as widely hunted as the answers themselves. I myself have written possibly hundreds of songs and poems about love, coming no closer to the truth. Whatever truth that may be...

It all started with Disney. Growing up there were countless Disney animations depicting a "happy ever after" as the conclusion to all of life's problems. Finding a princess to throw onto the back of a noble stead only to ride off into the sunset and never be heard of again. I often wonder what happens after that fateful scene...

Disney are not the only guilty party. Hollywood also cottoned onto this formulaic crowd pleaser and history has repeated itself ever since. Not to say the issue started with film. Reading books from the past you can still see the ever-present love interest and the dwelling sense of a happy ending. Its place in our universe is assured for many generations to come.

Today, there are two very distinct ways of dealing with love. The first is simple and just relies on as much denial and self-loathing as humanly possible. The second is to go with the flow and hope that if you invest enough "love" into someone, your happy ever after will come... Eventually...

But what is this thing that we all drive ourselves mad about? What is it that keeps us awake at night? Drives us to drugs & worse...?

As I see it, Love is the definition of a complex emotional state experienced by most if not all human beings. The word is commonly used to express a deep sense of adoration & affection toward a family member, close friend, sexual partner or in some cases even inanimate objects. To a portion of our population it has been revered as in some way mystical or supernatural. Unfortunately, however fun it is to imagine love as some form of magic, it's still nothing more than a state of complex emotions that we experience internally and express outwardly through our words and actions.

The act itself is simple, easy and fulfilling in every way. Love has an incredible talent of making all else unimportant while putting the fear of God into any rationally minded person. As soon as it becomes a possession it's easy to obsess & over-value until small cracks & resentments form over time and the entire practise is taken for granted. Even in the strongest of relationships. When this process takes place the love does not abate, only the relationship itself breaks down. The love adapts in various ways to include many other complex emotions. Some good & beneficial to personal growth. Others harmful & detrimental to self-confidence and emotional development.

In the past it has become commonplace for a sexual relationship where love is shared to develop into a marriage. The origin of marriage is said to be a "lover's claim". When a man took fancy to a woman, he would place a ring on her finger to signify that he and he alone was allowed to perform sexual acts with her. The woman in this situation rarely had a choice in the matter and would usually risk death in refusing to go along with the charade. Since then, marriage has developed into a mutual agreement between two people to stay emotionally, sexually and more recently, financially faithful to each other. In the past this was seen as an eternal agreement but due to the ever-growing implications & "privileges" that society puts on people in love, many ignore this clause and have made preparations for the inevitable breakdown before the marriage has even begun.

I find it awesomely disturbing that something so simple & natural can cause so much distress and confusion in a race that prides itself on intelligence & logic. I have played victim to love in the same way that we all do; by letting it get the better of us. It's better to remember that it's as much a part of us as we are of it. Enjoy it while it lasts...

Love. Best Served Warm.