Best served warm, Love really does seem to be all you need when you're without it and meaningless when you're in it. Much theorised and rarely fully understood, Love is an enigma. A blessing & a curse. What is it? What does it mean? What am I supposed to do about it? The right questions are as widely hunted as the answers themselves. I myself have written possibly hundreds of songs and poems about love, coming no closer to the truth. Whatever truth that may be...
It all started with Disney. Growing up there were countless Disney animations depicting a "happy ever after" as the conclusion to all of life's problems. Finding a princess to throw onto the back of a noble stead only to ride off into the sunset and never be heard of again. I often wonder what happens after that fateful scene...
Disney are not the only guilty party. Hollywood also cottoned onto this formulaic crowd pleaser and history has repeated itself ever since. Not to say the issue started with film. Reading books from the past you can still see the ever-present love interest and the dwelling sense of a happy ending. Its place in our universe is assured for many generations to come.
Today, there are two very distinct ways of dealing with love. The first is simple and just relies on as much denial and self-loathing as humanly possible. The second is to go with the flow and hope that if you invest enough "love" into someone, your happy ever after will come... Eventually...
But what is this thing that we all drive ourselves mad about? What is it that keeps us awake at night? Drives us to drugs & worse...?
As I see it, Love is the definition of a complex emotional state experienced by most if not all human beings. The word is commonly used to express a deep sense of adoration & affection toward a family member, close friend, sexual partner or in some cases even inanimate objects. To a portion of our population it has been revered as in some way mystical or supernatural. Unfortunately, however fun it is to imagine love as some form of magic, it's still nothing more than a state of complex emotions that we experience internally and express outwardly through our words and actions.
The act itself is simple, easy and fulfilling in every way. Love has an incredible talent of making all else unimportant while putting the fear of God into any rationally minded person. As soon as it becomes a possession it's easy to obsess & over-value until small cracks & resentments form over time and the entire practise is taken for granted. Even in the strongest of relationships. When this process takes place the love does not abate, only the relationship itself breaks down. The love adapts in various ways to include many other complex emotions. Some good & beneficial to personal growth. Others harmful & detrimental to self-confidence and emotional development.
In the past it has become commonplace for a sexual relationship where love is shared to develop into a marriage. The origin of marriage is said to be a "lover's claim". When a man took fancy to a woman, he would place a ring on her finger to signify that he and he alone was allowed to perform sexual acts with her. The woman in this situation rarely had a choice in the matter and would usually risk death in refusing to go along with the charade. Since then, marriage has developed into a mutual agreement between two people to stay emotionally, sexually and more recently, financially faithful to each other. In the past this was seen as an eternal agreement but due to the ever-growing implications & "privileges" that society puts on people in love, many ignore this clause and have made preparations for the inevitable breakdown before the marriage has even begun.
I find it awesomely disturbing that something so simple & natural can cause so much distress and confusion in a race that prides itself on intelligence & logic. I have played victim to love in the same way that we all do; by letting it get the better of us. It's better to remember that it's as much a part of us as we are of it. Enjoy it while it lasts...
Love. Best Served Warm.
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